This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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