Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
