Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I feel like a drive thru vagina
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
