I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
