Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
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