At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize