You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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