She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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