Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Randomize
