he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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