omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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