Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
