I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
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