If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
