I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
