I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
