Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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