I need help removing her.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
