yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
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