you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
