This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I think we might need a safe word for this...
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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