Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
