I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
