He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
