you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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