Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I have already put on my inside pants.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
