You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
