That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize