Please, let me fuck your mom
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Randomize
