i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
