...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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