i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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