My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
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