why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
