Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
