I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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