8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
