Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Holy shit dude........stairs
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize