I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Randomize
