At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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