do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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