he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize