I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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