well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
