i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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