I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize