Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
