Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
