I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
