More tranny stories later!
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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