Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
