you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize