Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize
