I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Randomize
