I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
She's the barista slut.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I need moral support for this bender
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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