Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
