Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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