you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
